Stressed, Anxious and Busy

Once again, readers, I apologize for my absence. I have a bunch of entries in-the-works but I haven't had time to make any collages or edit photos necessary for said updates. I've been slowly beginning the massive additions to both of my shops, however, and these I'm excited to show you (one such post should occur in a day or so).

In the meantime, if you'll allow me to briefly get a bit personal, I've been struggling with a lot of stress in my social life, at my day job, and even with little things like cleaning my apartment. My future is uncertain and I feel like I am in limbo as my nearest and dearest have begun the next chapters of their lives. Not that I am not thankful for all that I have that I didn't a year ago, but it does feel like I should be winding down the "aimless 20-something" act...and I don't know how to.

This, my ever-increasing social anxiety (crying at friends' birthday parties because I don't want to interrupt anyone's conversation), the news that ANOTHER of my closest friends will be moving away from Chicago, has left me a bit of a wreck. Michael actually knew how hard everything has been for me the past few days and showed up at my work Saturday night with these:

I'm so lucky to have such a sweet man!

With the news that my insurance will cover psychologist visits, I think this is something I will be needing to explore (and have been meaning to for years, honestly). I've barely begun the searching process so who knows when this will happen, but I'm determined to acquire this. Maybe it will give me some idea what I want to do with my future, or at least give me some pause and peace until I can arrive there.

Again, forgive me for being so personal on a supposed fashion blog. I just feel this is more relevant to my life at the moment than anything else. Soon I'll have more fun entries, promise.


Amanda / Rust Belt Threads said...

Are you me? I'm also having issues with juggling my day job, etsy, and maintaining a clean apartment too.

I'm 29 and I still have no clue what I'm doing. A lot of my friends are getting hitched and having kids, but none of that really appeals to me. (except having an awesome wedding reception...) Don't fret about being an "aimless 20-something," this is the age where you supposed to do whatever you want and learn/grow from it. Trust!

Devin said...

^^^^ What she said. Exactly.

I think the thing to take away from this is that you're not the only one....which I definitely understand doesn't change anything, but may make you feel less alone <3

Erin said...

Who is moving away?
And did this happen at Kara's birthday party, the upset you're referring to? Was I too busy being self-destructive to notice? :(

nona said...

I'm right there with you hon. Spent most of today trying not to burst into tears at work.

Therapy helps. Finding the right therapist matters a lot (I found a grea one; he's just been overloaded with patients for the last month, and I've gone to pieces in his absence!)


I think what you're going through is really normal, actually. When there's uncertainty to life, it can be kind of scary and recognizing that uncertainty and feeling like you need to do something to get away from it can be down right stressful. Whenever I've had similar experiences, I've always changed paths somewhat (in fact, I'm getting ready to do it all again at 32, but that's a whole 'nother conversation!). It's all about experiencing life, figuring out what works for you and what doesn't, but you can never gauge your own experiences and their importance by comparing your life to another's. It's all your own and part of the process is allowing yourself to experience and figure things out. And kudos to you for looking into therapy! That's very brave and I'm proud of you, dear!